JOKES IN ENGLISH!!!! HAHAHAHA

Sam: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?            
Teacher: No, of course not.
Sam: Good, because I didn’t do my   homework
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Teacher: John, why are you doing your math   multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
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 Teacher: Clyde,   your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you   copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It’s the same   dog.
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 Tom: This is   my newborn brother.
Lady: Oh, he is so cute! What’s   his name?
Tom: I don’t know. I can’t   understand a word he says.
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Patient:   Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.           
Patient: Great! I never could before!
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 Chris: I was   born in California.  
Ann: Really? Which part?          
Chris: All   of me!
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 Teacher:   Today we’re going to talk about tenses. Now, if I say “I am beautiful,”   which tense is it?     
Peter:  It is obviously the past tense!
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 Teacher:   What is the shortest month?
Harry: May. It only has three   letters!